By Aisha Audu
The Victims, Parents, Guardians, and Religious Institutions: The Unseen Forces Behind the Abuse*
Domestic violence is a scourge that affects millions of women worldwide. In Nigeria, the statistics are alarming.
According to the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC), one in every three women in Nigeria has experienced domestic violence. But what is even more disturbing is the role that some of victims, parents, guardians, and religious institutions play in perpetuating domestic violence.
Many women are forced to remain in abusive relationships because of societal pressure, family expectations, and religious teachings.
While some of the women decides to remain silence and continue trying to please their spouses and to save their marriages. This often happens in a marriage where the woman loves her husband more.
The consequences of silence and inaction are devastating. Women who are trapped in abusive relationships often suffer from physical and emotional trauma, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Their children are also affected, witnessing the abuse and trauma, which can have long-term effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.
It is time for us to shine a light on the silent enablers of domestic violence and to demand action from our leaders.
Parents and guardians are often the first point of contact for women who are experiencing domestic violence.
However, instead of offering support and protection, many parents and guardians often prioritize family reputation and societal expectations over their daughter’s safety and well-being.
“I was told to endure and pray for my husband to change,” said Mrs. Ife Johnson, a survivor of domestic violence.
“But the more I endured, the more he abused me. It wasn’t until I found the courage to leave that I realized I had been living in a nightmare.” She added.
Mrs. Johnson’s story is not an isolated one. Many women have been forced to remain in abusive relationships because of their parents’ or guardians’ refusal to intervene.This often happens in a family where the victim’s husband is financially assisting the victims family.Such family is ready to sacrifice their daughter for their own selfish gains.
Religious institutions, particularly churches, have also been criticized for their role in perpetuating domestic violence.
Some churches teach that women should submit to their husbands, even in the face of abuse.
This rhetoric can be damaging, as it implies that women are responsible for their husband’s behavior and that they should prioritize their marriage over their own safety.
“The church told me that I had to forgive my husband and take him back,” said Mrs. Daudu, another survivor of domestic violence. “But I knew that if I went back, he would kill me.
I had to choose between my faith and my life.”
The consequences of silence and inaction are devastating. Women who are trapped in abusive relationships often suffer from physical and emotional trauma, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
Their children are also affected, witnessing the abuse and trauma, which can have long-term effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.
“I grew up watching my mother being abused by my father,” said Miss. Martha, a child of a survivor of domestic violence.
“It affected me deeply, and I struggled with anxiety and depression for years. But I’m determined to break the cycle of violence and create a better life for myself and my children.”
To address this issue, we need a multifaceted approach:
Education and Awareness: We need to educate parents, guardians, and religious leaders about the dangers of domestic violence and the importance of prioritizing the safety and well-being of women.
Support Services: We need to provide support services for women who are experiencing domestic violence, including counseling, shelter, and legal aid.
Community Engagement: We need to engage with communities and religious institutions to change the narrative around domestic violence and promote a culture of zero tolerance.
Legislative Action: We need to strengthen our laws and policies on domestic violence, including the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act, 2015.
The death of Osinachi and that a mother of 5 who was recently set on fire by her husband in Anambra state is a tragic reminder of the devastating consequences of domestic violence.
We must take action to prevent such tragedies from occurring in the future. By educating ourselves and others, providing support services, engaging with communities, and advocating for legislative action, we can create a society where women are valued, respected, and protected.
